I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me

In the doldrums and frustration of waiting for a referral, I confess that my energy and enthusiasm wanes. I begin to drift in the shallows of despair. We chose our adoption agency, (apart from many reasons like their stellar reputation and unswerving ethics) because they were able to refer children within 3-4 months. We are at the brink of 9 months. And, we cling to the internet for stories or messages of hope and instead find discouraging stories of corruption in the government, kidnapping by unscrupulous vipers and the abuse of Ethiopia's children.

Am I getting too old for this? Do I not have the perseverence to hold on to the faith that brought me to this adventure? Can I follow through? I anchor my hopes on dates: Birthdays, Holidays, will this be a "different and inspiring season"?

Then I see a video like this and my strength rises, my faith unfurls from a tired limp rag into wind swept fullness, and the fog blows away. Is my child frustrated with their wait? And then I realize, we are both waiting for each other.

And so I sit, still. Realizing, that I need my child more than they need me.