Who Are You?

Who are you? How do people "know" who you are.

"Who am I?"

In my job I have a badge and that lets everyone at work know who I am by the color and position on the badge. It lets me into secured areas and my picture is from a couple of years ago, so that strokes my ego.

I have a business card and that - like my badge - tells people who I am and how to get a hold of me. My passport tells everyone where I'm from. I even have a "ClearCard" which contains a computer chip of my bio-metrics that gets me through airport security quickly.

In this journey of adoption - it goes even further. Our application asked questions about Lori and I that required us to ask our parents, "How old are you again?" "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" We've had to describe the characteristics of our family: "Put down that you're German and English with fair skin."

The other day, I had my health check-up - probably the most comprehensive exam I've had in years. Hearing test, eye tests (I passed a 20/20 chart without my glasses), blood tests, and everything in between. I had to recall the illnesses, surgeries and diseases of everyone in my family. Physically, what I ended up with is a description of who I am.

I went downtown to the Glendale Police Station and they took my finger prints and entered them into a database. Not sure who owns them now and where they live - but those patterns define who I am.

As part of the application, we had to take every nook and cranny from our financial life and expose it into the light of day. Think of everything you own that has a number and then print it out and total it up. We defined ourselves through our assets and liabilities.

Through the process, the agencies, the government, and everyone in-between will drill through our paperwork and hopefully will "know" who we are.

While all this process is important and worthwhile, I wonder what our potential son or daughter will want to know about us as people, as parents. I constantly remind myself - how will they view this adoption.

What power do they have in their situation? How much say do they have in the control of their lives? I think of them across the table from me: "Will you keep me safe? Will you provide a home and not a place to live? Are you funny? Do you like animals? What do you eat? Will you love me? Promise?" Yep. I promise.

This is what drives me - what motivates me. It's easy to surrender to an application process - that intrudes and asks that you to expose everything, makes you report on minutea, takes your privacy and publishes it - when I keep my new family in mind.

Who are we? A family pregnant with hope.